Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Brother, Role Model, Friend

Today is my oldest brother's birthday. Only in the last several years have I begun to understand to what extent Arie has affected my memories, my tendencies, my skills, my tastes, and many more facets of who I am. In honor of Arie's 34th year, I'm writing this post to explain just how much I appreciate him and the brother, role model, and friend he's been to me over the many years I've known him.


A young boy, perhaps four or five years old, walks with his 16-year-old brother on the sidewalk which follows the curve of the tree-lined streets. The older brother holds his hand, guiding him towards their destination: a 7-11 gas station. When they finally arrive, the generous brother buys his small sibling a “slurpy” and a pack of baseball cards, before setting out again to return home, a few short blocks away. But the journey isn’t over so easily; the young boy starts whining, pleading with his older brother to be carried home on a short walk that doesn’t require all that much effort, even from a four-year-old. But once again, the older brother exhibits the love he has for his brother and lifts him to his shoulders.


Indubitably, many of my favorite memories from childhood involve Arie in one way or another, and not just because we shared a house or a room. I was fortunate to be born when I was; Arie was 12, and beginning to be able to shape a more concrete and intentional view of the kind of brother he wanted to be. He styled my hair, helped me place our pet parakeet on my shoulder, allowed me to choose baseball cards from the box under his bed (normally Roger Clemens, Kirby Puckett, or Rickey Henderson, which can be seen from my playing card collection), told me stories (Peter the Great was the main character. Other prominent characters included the Bear and the Magic Prune), defended me from aggressive brothers...it was no wonder that, when his soon-to-be wife (Lindsay) entered the scene when I was ten, I took an immediate dislike to her. The main reason, of course, was that she was a girl. A close second, though, was because she was shifting my brother's attention away from me! It took years for my perception and actions toward her to thaw. All of this is to say: my childhood memories are wonderful, and many of the best ones involve Arie in some way or another.

My teenage years included many visits to my eldest brother's apartment, where sometimes I would even get to spend the night with just him and Lindsay (without my other siblings' presence). Frequently, these special times included a movie, popcorn, a card game, and a much later bedtime than I would have had at home (yes, I still had a recommended bedtime into my teens...not that I always kept it). Looking back now, I am extremely thankful that my brother and his wife made it a priority not to let their relationships with Arie's multitudinous siblings fade. To this day, I still make trips (when busy schedules allow) to spend a night on Arie and Lindsay's couch.

If you know me well, you know that I love music (and have likely been quite condescending toward your own obviously inferior tastes). Name an artist I love, though, and there are 90% odds that Arie is the one who introduced me to the band. Iron & Wine. Ben Folds. Jars of Clay. Burlap to Cashmere. Wilco. The Decemberists. Blind Pilot. The Avett Brothers (and yes, you should listen to ALL of these bands). The list goes on and on and on and on (a notable exception to the "Arie influenced" list is Simon & Garfunkel. I'm still trying to get him to admit to Paul Simon's lyrical brilliance). 

In addition to the musical influences, there is the reading and writing side. A visit to Arie's house includes the inescapable conclusion that he's crazy about books, mostly because you can't enter a room without encountering a bookshelf (full of the coolest editions of his favorite books). Many of the books have not even been deemed worthy as of yet to read, but there they sit. As a child, my first phrase was "read-a-book?" Arie was sometimes the unfortunate recipient of this request, and the time he spent reading to me has not been wasted. I, too, have my own rapidly growing collection of books, many of which were recommended or given to me by my oldest brother. Another memory emerges: surreptitious sneak peaks into the novel Arie was writing on our Windows 95 desktop computer. It had something to do with a Tower. Beyond that, I don't remember much, other than that I, too, wrote stories on that desktop computer. When I was 11-13ish, I compiled my longest story and bestowed it upon Arie. I don't revisit that story any longer (its plot line causes me to shudder upon thinking of it), but I know that at least partial credit for what skill I have as a writer goes to my brother for the example he set as the editor-in-chief of the school paper at JCCC, the thoughtful blogger (before his first child arrived), the exemplary wordsmith.

A few weeks ago, I made the drive downtown on a Friday night after work to visit my brother. It was a rare occasion in his household: his wife and four sons were gone for several days. I opened the door of his lovely house (remodeled mostly by him) to see him sitting beside a wood fire, books strewn across the coffee table, laptop on hand, sermon notes being prepared. We talked for a short while, and then made the ascent upstairs for a game of NBA 2k10. It turned into several games, because I beat him soundly in the first attempt. Following his futile tries to defeat me, we enjoyed a couple of beers and Mission Impossible 4 before he headed to his bed and I spread my blanket on his couch. In the morning, we went to one of his favorite local restaurants for breakfast, where we stuffed ourselves on gravy and biscuits, drank coffee, and discussed the ways in which we're similar, the blind spots we share, and the ways we can both grow. This is the best part of the friendship my brother and I share: amid the fun and the banter, there is the ability to discuss deeper matters without effort or discomfort.

The 1100 words I've already written are not nearly enough to recognize the extent to which Arie has influenced and instructed me, through words and behavior. I've not written of the times I've wept at thinking about how much I miss him, the coffee I love because of his careful tutelage, the basketball games we've played, the trash-talk we've exchanged. Even now I don't fully see just how important and wonderful my brother has been to me, but this I do know: the ways that my brother has loved me, the gifts he's shared with me, the ways he has inspired me...all of these things have had an effect because of the love we both feel from our Father, and God's hand in both our lives to shape and grow us according to His plan. And, although we no longer are part of the same church, our common faith is our best asset in knowing and loving each other. It has always been our best chance at a love that transcends the love brothers naturally have. The way of Jesus, the sacrifice He made to ensure our salvation...this is the power behind the love we know and have experienced. Though I've written about Arie before, I will always have reason to write again.

Happy birthday, brother. I love you immensely.

In the spring of 2009, when I took Composition 1, I wrote about you. Here's my conclusion paragraph:

"It’s hard to explain how much Arie has meant to me in so many different ways: he is the one I cite as the catalyst to my now-diverse music tastes, the one who opened my eyes to the magic of trash-talking, the one who took me on truck rides, the one who still invites me to his noisy house to get advice or just hang out. I owe many things to him, but the best gift he has ever given me is his example: I looked to him for the way to live, and he showed me. He pointed the way to contentment in God, a happy marriage, and a joy-filled life. He has proved by example that life is no walk in the park or jaunt in the mall: life is hard, but the yoke is easy and the burden light for those who put their trust in Jesus. I see Jesus in my brother, because my brother sees Him."

Friday, March 12, 2010

Josh Harris, the pastor

I have read Joshua Harris before in the past and very much enjoyed his books geared towards singles (I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, Not Even a Hint). For my birthday, my dad gave me his latest book, a more serious book on basic theology and why it matters: Dug Down Deep. It's been a pretty good read so far, although I haven't finished it yet due to procrastinating on it and not putting nearer to the top of my priority list, where it belongs. His introduction chapter is pretty gripping, though. Just to pique your interest. :)
In addition to starting that book, I've been downloading his sermons from his church's website, Covenant Life. He's a very good speaker. I'm optimistic that the sermons of his that I have heard will continue to impact me if I implement them in the way Christ intends his followers to do: acting on what we hear. Last night I finished "Holiness is a Harvest," which talks about how we sow what we reap, and we shouldn't be surprised that we aren't growing if we haven't put in the necessary work to get there. If we sow to flesh, we reap corruption. Some great food for thought. And, considering our church lifted our upcoming (some time this year...still not sure when) series on purity straight from Covenant Life's series a few years ago, it's good to get started thinking about some of the sermons from that series. A good question that came to mind during the sermon that seems pretty obvious but also important is this: "What am I sowing to? What things am I choosing now, and what will I reap?" Every choice is important.
Harris continues to grow, and in his growth encourages others to follow him in following God. That's what Christian life is all about: sharing with others the progress we make and learning from others' examples. Without observation and sharing, the Christian life would be close to impossible.
I may share one of my Composition 1 writing assignments on here after i get it back. Clue on subject matter: Memoir paper, about one of my long-lasting human role-models.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Late night thoughts from the slouch on the couch...

I have been realizing lately a lot of things about myself. Some things are little, others insignificant, others painful, all the product of having tons of time to think about myself. Two days before Christmas now, and I think I have just enough brain power left in me tonight to post some fragments that have been floating around in my brain.

Fragments like this:

*I love to use "....."s They are fun. And a good way to drift off into nothingness. Now, when I am talking to you in person, text, email, twitter, and you notice a pause, there is an unwritten ellipsis there. Whoops, you know my secret now. Oh well...
*I have a natural tendency to be gloomy, depressed, depressing, discouraging, etc. And I am in a dangerous place, because something in me likes to be in that state. Maybe it's because of the attention I get from acting that way, maybe it's because gloominess has a lot of music that goes great with it, but I have been "down" a lot this year. It's definitely because I am a sinful person.
*The times when I am not down are the times when I get my eyes off of myself and on God, and through that on others. The times when I am not focused on myself are the times when I am happiest. And I am happiest when I am making others happy. Even in my "Scrooge" or Eeyore mindsets, making people like my nephews laugh makes me happy.
*I love music. This is not a new revelation. I especially love great music: music that blends artistic instrumentation with well-written words that I can identify with. I will give an example of music like this at the end of this post.
*I get annoyed with people too easily. Way too easily. I think sometimes that I have my emotions and feelings under control and don't realize how wrong I am. When somebody talking too loud gets on my nerves, something is wrong.
*I have an amazing family, no matter how many things are going wrong. I will never fully realize how blessed I am, just like I can never really understand what God has done and is doing for me.
*I am not a very thankful person. It's easy for me to see ungratefulness in others, but I am just as guilty myself.
*I am a sucker for interesting words. Like introspection. Reverberate. Etcetera. Magnetic. That's what words are to me...and perhaps this is why
*I could spend my life in bookstores around the world. I am haunted by the allure of books, music, movies...and this is why I am a shameless Half Price Books addict. I think I have been in a Half Price Books store at least three, maybe 6 times in the last week. And spent a lot of money there, too. I am not just a browser. I am a consumer.
*I care what people think about me. A lot. I will hopefully address this more in another post, but this is the reason that I am deeply saddened when people don't like music I love, when people make fun of me, when I don't fit in or am no longer part of a group or a friendship I have known my whole life.
*I need God. This is what I need the most and forget the most.
*I hate exercise without purpose, or exercise simply for the purpose of exercising. I need a game or sport to occupy my attention and brain.
*I am not going to show you the contents of my thoughts any more tonight.


Here's a song like I was talking about. It's from a beautiful movie called Once (rated R for lots of language) which has an amazing story and incredible music. Highly recommended. However, I am claiming ownership of having found this band in my family: The Swell Season. They are my most listened music currently. There is not a lot of hope in their music, but their most well-known song is probably one that a lot of whoever is reading this blog can identify with: Falling Slowly. Enjoy. And merry Christmas. Maybe I will write a post about Jesus' sacrifice another time.











I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along