Quiet.

Characteristics of a quiet not often experienced by those who live in our culture:

Hearing the wind.
Knowing what song is playing in your head, and why.
Rocking chairs.
Whispers.
Seeing stars.
Feeling the tread wear off of shoes that scuffle unhurriedly across black pavement.
Listening to breath pass by.
Crickets chirping.
Water in pipes.
Knowing what I'm thinking.
Realizing my throat is dry.
Remembering that being solitary is not the same as being alone.
I am never alone.

Memories: The Good, The Beautiful, The Painful

What is it about human beings that, so often, instead of looking forward, they look back? Why do we tend to live our lives in the past, rethinking decisions, regretting missed opportunities (I have so many of those), and wishing we were there instead of here? It must have something to do with our sin nature. Because that's always the case. We are part sin, and therefore everything we do that's not perfect is affected by that (which is everything.). Here are some memories I recalled the past few days:

Years and years ago, I don't even know for sure how long ago, Greenleaf Music and Arts Academy had a Talent Show. My brother Paul and I got this great idea for a choreographed fight scene titled Samson and DeLion. It's possible that name was the brainchild of another of my brothers, Johnny, who thinks in bad puns such as that one. : ) Anyway, we went ahead with it and staged an elaborate scene which included me dressed up in a lion suit/costume and getting thrown around the stage, fighting with swords, and eventually getting pinned. It was so long ago, I don't even remember completely everything. It's vague, but funny to look back on.

A quick one, from about ten years ago (an estimation). Another brother, Daniel, helped me with a grand plan: to construct a scarecrow out of my clothing and situate it in a chair in the living room around dinner time. I can still remember gleefully hiding behind the chair waiting for somebody to look for me.

On a more sober note:

The time I told you to shut up, and walked away, not caring what you thought or felt.

Wasting time on the computer for hours. Where is the time now? What did that waste do for me? Nothing.

A recent memory:
Gliding across still water, hearing distant splashing, laughter, and happy voices. Looking up and seeing silent stars, hanging, waiting...for what? Enjoying the company in the shaky canoe; talking about things it's hard to have a normal, open, comfortable, unembaressing conversation about, and succeeding.

Walks into darkness. Discovering light.